So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
