im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm both gender and math confused
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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