First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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