I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
two words...techno handjob
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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