he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
and she was petting her beer can
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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