Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
