Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
