Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
