one might say we're banned from that church
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
not ubering you a puppy
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
