Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
