literally had 100 drinks last night.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
