His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
