Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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