i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
