Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
