Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
