She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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