I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
