best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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