your thong is hanging out like whoa
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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