I hate all girls vehemently.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
