She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
