Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
