Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
