Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we made out on top of his cat.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
