I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
