Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
