What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
