Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
