omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
