IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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