Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
