I didn't shave. On purpose
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
there is glitter all over my balls
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
