Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
