I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
