Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize