I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
