Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
