# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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