Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
