I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
