Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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