I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
