I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize