so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
