Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize