I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
