i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
PANTIES FOUND
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