tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
