i'm lost and i look like a hooker
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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