I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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