Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
