my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My balls are so social today.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
