He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
