dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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