you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
