If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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