I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize