You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
